November 15, 2011

Ten Ways to Protect Your Marriage

Top Ten {Tuesday}

Ten Ways to Protect Your Marriage
  1. Discuss and set boundaries and expectations.  For instance, you may agree that neither of you will meet individually with a member of the opposite sex over a meal.  Talk issues out before something happens to cause conflict.
  2. Keep confidences.  Our girlfriends do not need to know every detail of our marriage conversations.  Keeping your husband's conversations confident shows a great deal of respect and honor to him.
  3. Be sure that you know each others Love Languages.  It is crucial that you know how your husband receives love from you!
  4. Carve out time for just the two of you.  If it is difficult to get a sitter, just stay in!  Play a game of scrabble or choose a movie together, pop some popcorn, pull a mattress onto the living room floor, grab some pillows and blankets to snuggle under, and enjoy a great evening together!
  5. Go to bed at the same time each night!  This creates an easy way to have conversations, talk about your day, and connect.
  6. Stay connected every day.  You should never have gone through a day without having kissed and hugged your husband several times!
  7. Find recreation that you both enjoy.  It doesn't have to be anything fancy: going to movies, a favorite TV show, walking the dog, etc.  Just find things you can enjoy together.
  8. Keep it fun!  You most likely married your best friend, right?  Laughter and silliness together is good for the soul and your relationship!
  9. Encourage his time to find and cultivate friendships.  Allow him "space" for down time and friends.
  10. Pray together.  Nothing will bring you closer  than spending time with Christ in the center of your relationship.

Having had my first marriage crash and burn and disintegrate into pieces, I have learned the hard way that our marriages cannot survive without the proper time and attention given to keep them alive.  Don't just aim to keep your marriage good, strive to make it great!

Greet your husband at the door tonight like he's been gone for a week!


Brooke said...

I wholeheartedly agree friend...especially with #s 2 and 10. Just those two did wonders for our marriage. I love this post!

Ashlie said...

Loved this, Cherie!! Agree on all important. Such good advice...our marriages need the time and fierce protection. Thank you for sharing this. :)

va_grown said...

This is a great list! Nothing hard, but everything that's important.

Heidi said...

Wonderful advice. :) Marriage is hard, but it is GOOD.

It is difficult to understand when you first get married that eventually you'll have to work at these types of things that seem so second nature in the early days of your relationship. It is worth the effort.

We have found #9 to be extremely helpful for both of us - having close friendships with others helps one to guard against having too many unrealistic expectations of our spouse.
That, and having a community of other married couples to walk alongside helps keep a balanced perspective about marriage while providing encouragement as well.


charis said...

thank you for posting this - i have been thinking a lot recently about the need for more people to talk and write about what strengthens marriages and your list covers a lot of good ways.

my recent post: a giving of thanks

Jen said...

This is great Cherie. If you haven't already, feel free to link this up to SDG at I'm going to post the link on my s(He)Listens page!

Bobbi said...

Great reminders! Thanks so much!!

Theresa Miller said...

These are great points, and several of which I need to be better about. Thank you!

Jenny said...

Can a pose a question? My husband and I rarely pray together, and that has always bothered me a bit because I feel like we should, so mostly b/c I feel guilty that we don't. I know that he prays throughout the day and so do I. We pray for each other, but neither of us tend to initiate prayer time together. I've come to the conclusion that this is just not the prayer "style" of some couples... is that ludicrous, or do you think there is some truth in that. Are we wrong to not pray together regularly?

redemptionsbeauty said...

I couldn't agree more. Lovely post! Been married 21 years and happier today than the day we married. Because we have done all of the things you listed here.

Heather (@hmacmomma) said...

Love all these points! awesome job Cherie!
I would say that as far as praying together...we started taking a few minutes before he walks out the door to pray for one another. Helps us know what the other is anticipating that day and what we can continue to pray for throughout the day. Also try to send him texts/pictures of the boys during the day so he can know what we are up to. Love this cherie!

Natalie at Mommy on Fire said...

Cherie, brilliant. I love how God is using your experiences in the past to bring glory to Him. Ashes to beauty every time.

So convicting - I'm passing it along to my hubs right now..:)

Love you, girl!

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