Jul 12, 2010

What My Husband Needs

It is amazing how long we can live in sin and bury it deep in our subconscious.  That is where we construct the excuses and spin it into something different, something we are more comfortable with, something of which we can live without guilt.

In out watered down society where right isn't always right, and wrong isn't always wrong, even Christians begin to see the lines muddled.  Sometimes in our societal roles, but usually the lines become blurred when we decide for ourselves which of God's commands we will obey, and which we think we might just ignore.  We interpret scripture so that it sounds like what we want it to, as to not be convicted to change.

 "The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband.  In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife.  Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer."
I Corinthians 7:4

This one is really pretty hard to switch up to change so it looks good to me, so I've always just skimmed it and  kept right on reading!  Our Senior Pastor always joked that if his wife tells him no, he asks what they are praying about!

God has been doing a big work in me and my heart has been stirring on many things.  This is just one of them.    
I have been disobedient to the above command and disobedience is sin.

My family is probably reading this with their jaws on the floor, but it needs to be said. {sheepish hand wave}  My husband and I have a very healthy relationship in this area, and we really enjoy each other.  But I have told him no way too many times...and we weren't praying!  And every single one of them was for selfish reasons.
 #1 Reason:  I'm tired. Pathetic.

Ladies, our God is faithful.  I'm sure you probably never imagined that you would have to pray about sex, but if you ask God to give you the drive, energy and the desire to satisfy your husband, guess what, HE WILL.  Sex was His creation and because He has made the above directive in his Word, He will help you to obey it. But you have to ask!

Your husband was created to enjoy the site of you, how you smell, and the feel of you in his arms.  When his desire for you is not met, his life begins to get off kilter.  He may grow grumpy, selfish, moody and distant.  If allowed to go on long enough, it becomes a bad pattern.  Don't let your marriages go down this dreary road.  Recovery is difficult.

Have I perfected this myself?  Hardly.  God and I have been working through it.  But there have been a few nights when I didn't allow myself to say no.  And guess who was blessed?  ME!  (ok-we were both smiling-just as God intended!)


Layton Family Joy said...

good for you - it's these "tough" topics that should be talked about to grow women into healthy relationships with their husbands and God Himself! I love you even more for going "there"! BRAVO!


Ashley said...

Thanks for being willing to be used of God in your honesty.

Erin @ Closing Time said...

Great post, Cherie!! :)

Mandy said...

Ouch! I doubt I would have ever been brave enough to write about this topic, but I'm so proud of you for doing it! And I am convicted by it.... {hanging head in shame}...

Mom said...

WOW! Not sure what to say here! Other than I'm so proud of how mature my daughter is becoming.
You are so right on this subject Cherie. It is truly a gift from God, emotionally & physically. Only when you DON'T have that special someone in your life do you know what a gift it is.
So girls, take Cherie's advice and watch your relationship grow!

Ruth in the Desert said...

Good advice, but it works both ways. Husbands need to be there for us too. And we all need to realize that sometimes our mates are too tired.

Cherie said...

Thanks for your comment Ruth. While I know this is a two way street, my being tired has kept me from doing a lot of things I should. So this was more of a personal obstacle I have been working on overcoming.

Dani said...

Can we sensor these a little?? sheesh innocent eyes over here.

Cherie said...

The above comment is from my 19 year old daughter who frequently lurks here! Can't believe she actually left a comment!

Should I put a warning at the top of each post honey?

Dee said...

HAHAHHA! Sorry... Not laughing at your post. Excellent points in your post! I'm snickering about the comment from your daughter and to your daughter. TEE HEE HEE Love it! :)

Thanks for the honest and open post! That is a difficult topic for many to discuss.

Take care!!

Mom said...

I think that's the most comments I've seen!

walkingwithangels said...

A honest post and something I have been very aware of as have watched many marriages fail due to this. Sex shouldnt be all of your marriage but it is a big part. Well done for being brave enough to raise this subject xxx

Jamie~ said...

Yay! Thanks for sharing this with us! I was just reading about this in The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace (awesome book if you haven't read it) and have been convicted about this. I just found out I'm pregnant and haven't been feeling really well lately, so I'm trying to figure out how to get past that to make sure I'm ministering to my husband. I'm so thankful you shared this, because now I'm reminded that I need to push through this because it's NOT all about me.

Oh, I almost forgot! Thanks so much for stopping by my blog the other day. I'm so tickled to have met you. I will definitely be coming back!

Amy said...

I needed this post today Cherie! Considering that my husband and I haven't even been sleeping in the same bed for a month. Not exactly healthy for a marriage relationship. Hoping to get into our house next week. Thanks for the great post!

Sharon Cohen said...

Wonderful post! It is a daring move that we take when we make posts such as this. (I called my post "Behind Closed Doors" and posted it yesterday - how ironic.) But if God has put it on our hearts to share the joy of marriage and all that it has to bless us with - then who are we to keep quiet. I commend you, Cheri, for answering the promptings that motivated this post!

Your post was definitely more to-the-point than was mine. I think I'll take your cue and write just a little more directly the next time.


I dropped by to visit your blog on the recommendation of iFellowship via Lisa♥H and I am very glad that I did. I know that this is not your "iFellowship" post but it caught my eye! I will now look forward to the blessings of being your newest reader.

SomeGirl said...

GREAT post! Thank you for that push to pray and be more obedient to God's instructions [in bed]! ♥ Michelle

Happy iFellowship Day!

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